1 John 5:15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have obtained the requests made of him.
Today Jeff and I both were able to help the David and Lucia with school because we were in charge of the afternoon shift and had a free morning. Anjali was invited by Steffi to help out with the Kid’s Club in Budila, so she left with Katie at 9:20 this morning and didn’t get home until about 2:30. We were invited to a music appreciation class this afternoon, it is a 2-hour group where the kids learn about different composers and instruments. Lucia was totally game for this and seemed to enjoy herself, but David was not interested in the least and actually chose to do more schoolwork at home. So he busted out a ton of work just so that he didn’t have to be around kids that he didn’t know. I was really hoping that he would have gained more confidence over this year, and he has, but he is still just as shy as ever. He is still almost paralyzed by fear or uncertainty when confronted with new people and a new situation. I guess the best Jeff and I can do is to keep offering opportunities for him to step outside his comfort zone to try new things and to learn that putting yourself out there can be freeing and amazing. I do hope that one day he will learn how to talk with new people comfortably because he is such a neat person and has so much to offer a conversation.
I had a wonderful time during my shift, but I can’t even begin to share the level of heartbreak I experience when I have to say goodbye to these children. I just want to stay longer, but if I do that, I will miss out on my own children. I have had to learn that balance is key. As much as I want to give these children all the love they deserve, I also have to remember my own children need me too. I know that there have been times here where I have lost track of that, assuming my children don’t need me there, but when I get home, I am surprised by how much they missed me. I know they understand why I have been gone, but I need to be aware of how much they still need me. In loving others I need to be sure to not lose sight of my own children and making sure that I am also meeting their needs. I am not sure what has sparked this train of thought, but I guess a good way to go from here is end in a prayer, since according to the scripture above, I know God hears my prayers and that He always delivers a response and will always be there to guide and direct me.
Dear Lord, please help me to give all the love I have to the children I am caring for at the hospital, but please also help me to balance their needs with the needs of my own children. I don’t want to look past them as I seek to help others. You have shown me time and time again that I always have you as my guide, so I am asking you to continue to guide me so that I can be everything you need me to be and to be your hands in our world, so that I leave all I meet with a sense of your love for them. In your name I pray, Amen.