Genesis 33:1-13 Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.
But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” Then the maids drew near, they and their children, and bowed down; Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down; and finally Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” Jacob answered, “To find favor with my lord.” But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” Jacob said, “No, please; if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand; for truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God—since you have received me with such favor. Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want.” So he urged him, and he took it.
Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go alongside you.” But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds, which are nursing, are a care to me; and if they are overdriven for one day, all the flocks will die.
For the life of me I can’t figure out how this scripture relates to today, which is why I am not publishing it until now. I will skip over the scripture part for now and share a little bit about today. I worked at the hospital while Jeff stayed home with the kids to work on school; if they work hard enough they will be done by the time we leave Romania which would be wonderful to have that task off our plate during our time in Kenya. I really hope that they will work hard over the coming weeks and finish up the little bit they have left. Thus far they have not been very productive this week.
We had a nice treat tonight. Jeff worked all day preparing a wonderful Indian feast of Briyani, chipati, and chutney. But the real treat was the company, both Katie and Calah (the long-term volunteers for FFR that live in the apartments above us) joined us for dinner. It was so much fun to spend some quality time with these wonderful ladies who are giving so much for the children here in Brasov. We had an evening filled with conversation, laughter, and wine! We all had a lot of fun and the kids even put themselves to bed while we continued to visit with Katie and Calah.
I have really thought about this scripture and I realized that this scripture is actually very fitting for me. As I was walking home from the hospital on Friday I realized that this is just another way God is telling me to let go and give control to Him. In so many ways I have no problem with giving God control, but there are other ways that are not quite so easy. We are facing a lot of uncertainty right now, with potential jobs, where we are going to live, what will our lives look like when we get done with this year, will we have jobs, etc. and I have been struggling to gain some control over something. In my heart I know I need to give the control to God, but there is this Type A part of me that is saying that if I do it I will have the answers sooner and faster! But when I read this scripture of Jacob giving everything over to God, trusting Him to work everything out between he and Esau, it made me realize that this is exactly what I need to do myself. I need to give my life over to Him completely, in all aspects of my life, because He will fight for me if I just stand still. (This is what Moses says to the Israelites as they are fleeing the Egyptians across the Red Sea. Exodus 14:14). God knows me so well and He knows how much I have been struggling. I have lacked patience with my children and have felt completely overwhelmed this past week (I am sure that my grandmother’s passing and trying to find flights back to the states didn’t help matters.). I am so glad I waited on writing this blog because if I have tried to get it done on Wednesday I would have missed out on the insight I gained from thoughtfully praying on it. I guess the hardest part of this process is for me to let go and give God control in all aspects of my life and wait patiently for His timing to show me the path I am meant to walk.